


Hold Me Closer

by warmheartseek



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, IT 2019, Love Confessions, M/M, MAJOR MOVIE SPOILERS, Not A Fix-It, Or Is It?, Someone Give Richie Tozier A Hug Please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 00:15:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20611742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warmheartseek/pseuds/warmheartseek
Summary: this is entirely based off a conversation my friend and I had after seeing the movie because neither of us believe Richie would have left Eddie's side to go fight Pennywise unless Eddie told Richie it was alright to let him go, so maybe not an entirely unhappy ending? (but I'm only writing happy reddie from now on, this HURT to type)





	Hold Me Closer

27 years. 27 goddamn years ripped out from under him and he doesn’t even have the right to be angry about any of it because it’s sure as shit hard to be angry about something you can’t remember. 

But he’s angry now, by  _ god _ Richie is angry. A hot boiling rage building molten in his stomach while he watches Eddie take sputtering breaths, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a fake, _ ‘really, I’m alright,’ _ kind of smile. Eddie was always trying to pretend for Richie. Pretend he was okay, pretend he wasn’t scared shitless about the simple act of leaving his front door,  _ pretend, pretend, pretend. _

Neither of them were pretending anymore. 

Richie remembered everything, and he knew that must mean Eddie did too. He remembered the token and the arcade, that rush of excitement being so close to Bowers’ cousin. Not that it lasted very long, the insults hurled like acid in his direction while he fled the scene of his own social suicide. It hadn’t been long after that when Richie carved his and Eddie’s initials into the bridge. Eddie had always been there for him, behind the scenes of their surface level spats. When the gang dispersed after a long day of riding bikes and splashing in the river, it was Eddie who hung back with Richie, neither of them quite ready to leave each other’s company so soon. It was always so easy and comfortable, they would ride back to Richie’s house, Eddie would sit close to him while they flipped silently through Richie’s comic books. Sometimes their hands would brush and Eddie’s fingers would linger over top of Richie’s. 

The shared shy glances and nervous smiles. A breathy laugh before Eddie would reluctantly pull his hand away, afraid of what Richie might say if he lingered too long. Not that it was ever long enough for him, but Richie would return the laugh with a half-hearted punch to Eddie’s shoulder.

Richie would say something like, “Take a picture Kaspbrak, it’ll last longer.” 

That would make Eddie laugh before he’d shoot back, “I dunno, wouldn’t want to break the camera lens with all that ugly.” 

Richie knew he’d never meant it. Laughter was their safe space, a place they could express their feelings without having to own up to them for too long. 

Richie had tried humor at the beginning, when The Losers reunited for the first time in 27 years, how ridiculous Mike had been with his notebook and crazy as shit ramblings. He’d even tried to make light when they visited the clubhouse and traded stories about poor Stanley. It hadn’t felt real then, all this shit about defeating that stupid clown, so the jokes flowed easily for Richie as they always had. 

It was getting hard to make jokes when his hands and clothes were steadily soaking up the blood of his best friend. 

“Hey--Hey, Eddie look at me alright? Keep those eyes open Eds, can you do that for me?” 

Richie held Eddie’s chin in his hand with a firm enough grip to keep his head from swaying to one side or another. Eddie gave an undetectable nod and swallowed another mouthful of blood before he spoke. 

“Yeah, ‘course Richie. I can do that, an--anything for you buddy.” 

His eyes were open but distant, his focus bouncing like he couldn't see two inches in front of his face anymore. Richie tried to follow as best he could, constantly keeping himself in Eddie’s line of sight. 

“That’s good, that’s real good Eddie you just keep lookin’ at me alright? This’ll be over before you know it--they’re gonna kill that fuckin’ clown and then we’ll get you outta’ here, promise.”

“Rich--Richie.”

Richie adjusted his hands, both on either side of Eddie’s face now. They were so close, just like the hammock, Richie’s legs tangled and tucked between Eddie’s while he struggled to keep him awake. 

“I’m here Eds, I’ll always be here. Just tell me what you need.”

“You gotta--Richie you gotta fight with them,” Eddie’s words were becoming garbled behind blood. 

“Don’t be stupid Eddie, there’s no way in hell I’m leaving you like this.” 

“It’s okay, Richie it’s alright. You don’t have to protect me anymore.” 

Richie swiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, praying that Eddie couldn’t see the tears behind his thick lenses. 

“Look, Eds you’ve lost a lotta’ blood, you don’t even know what you’re saying right n--”

Eddie’s hand came up to meet Richie’s, his skin was getting cold and his grip was weak. 

“I know what I’m saying, Richie. I’m sayin’ you gotta’ let me go, save yourself and the rest of those losers.” 

Richie shook his head, letting it drop heavy against his bent knee.  _ No, no, no, no,  _ was all he could hear himself saying. A chant, maybe a prayer to whatever sick and twisted God might be listening, certainly a plea if nothing else. After a moment he felt that clammy touch of Eddie’s hand against his cheek, guiding his gaze up again. Eddie was fighting every muscle in his body to stay awake, Richie could see that. 

“Please,” Richie sobbed, “I can’t--Eddie I just got you back, I can’t let you go again.” 

“I know Richie, I wish we could have each other for a little longer too.”

Eddie’s mouth moved like he wanted to say more but his breath was so short, Richie could tell he was getting tired from just those few words. Richie pressed his jacket harder against Eddie’s stomach in a silent attempt to stop the incessant blood, but it only made Eddie wince. 

“All that time, 27 years I had this ghost of a feeling, like I’d been missing something this whole time. When I saw you again Eds,  _ fuck  _ I knew right away.”

Richie ground his teeth together and tucked his head into the crook of Eddie’s neck, letting his shoulders shake with the force of his crying now. He could feel Eddie’s nose buried in his hair, the huff of uneven breath against his scalp. 

“It was always you, Eddie. When we were kids, until we both moved out of this shithole town-- until the memories really started getting fuzzy--it never stopped being you.” 

“You,” Eddie sputtered, “Richie, me too.”

He knew what it meant, he almost wished he didn’t. Richie pulled back to get a look at Eddie, shoving away the thought that it might be the last chance he’d get. Beyond the new and drying blood on his chin, the bandage over the gash in his cheek, Eddie looked tired. Physically he looked his age, but his eyes carried the weight of someone ten years older.

Richie’s hands found their way to Eddie’s cheeks again, his eyes darting around to memorize every dent and divot in Eddie’s skin, because he would be damned if he ever forgot that face again. 

“ _ Fuck _ , Eddie I love you. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” 

“It’s alright now Richie, it’s alright.”

With his remaining strength Eddie smiled, his mouth moving to form the words, ‘ _ I love you’, _ before that tired light in his eyes finally went out and Richie was left alone again for the last time. 

He held Eddie’s body to his chest for what felt like hours but what he knew was only seconds. Richie’s howls of sorrow blended in just fine with the gang’s terrified screams. After another moment, Richie laid Eddie carefully back against the rock and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. With a new anger in his chest, Richie took off after his friends. He no longer cared if he lived or died, because whatever Richie did now, it would be for Eddie. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is entirely based off a conversation my friend and I had after seeing the movie because neither of us believe Richie would have left Eddie's side to go fight Pennywise unless Eddie told Richie it was alright to let him go, so maybe not an entirely unhappy ending? (but I'm only writing happy reddie from now on, this HURT to type)


End file.
